A Mouthful of Cid
by Carbuncle
Summary: Zidane is forced to lend a hand when Quina suffers stomach pains.


FINAL FANTASY IX  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: This story takes place while the party are on board the Blue Narciss, when Regent Cid is still a frog. It isn't related to the plot of the actual game.  
  
A Mouthful of Cid  
  
"...I love the ocean air," Eiko said. "Don't you, Zidane?"  
  
"Huh?" Zidane said.  
  
"Where you even listening to me?!" Eiko said.  
  
"I'm sorry, Eiko. I'm just a bit worried about Dagger."  
  
"What about Dagger?" Eiko asked. "Oh! You mean the fact that she can't speak? Well, don't worry, Zidane, you can always talk to me!"  
  
"...uh, thanks, I think," Zidane said.  
  
The party were on board the Blue Narciss, sailing across the ocean in search of Kuja. Zidane was feeling a bit fed up, so Eiko was trying to cheer him up.  
  
"Say, wanna play a game?!" she said. "It's called... "Kiss Eiko"! You have to chase me around the boat and try to kiss me!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Zidane exclaimed. "Get real!"  
  
Suddenly, Steiner came running towards the two friends. He looked as white as a sheet, as if he had seen a ghost. He struggled to catch his breath.  
  
"Young... thief, thank goodness I have found you! You must come quick!"  
  
"Whoa! Slow down, Rusty! Is it Dagger?! Is she okay?!" Zidane said.  
  
"Grrr... stupid Dagger!" Eiko said quietly.  
  
"No, no, the princess is fine! It's Regent Cid! Terrible, terrible misfourtune!"  
  
"Regent Cid?! Geez, Rusty! I got more important things on my mind than some bearded old frog! Whatever it is, just sort it out yourself!"  
  
"Hmph! Just the kind of attitude I expected from a fool like you!" Steiner said, while raising his fists. "Princess Garnet will be most displeased!"  
  
"Dagger?! Oh, oh, all right! I'll come see!" Zidane said.  
  
Steiner ran off towards the opposite end of the boat. Zidane and Eiko followed, and found the rest of the party gathered around Quina.  
  
"Okay, what's up?" Zidane said.  
  
"Zidane! It's Regent Cid! He... He's..." Vivi said.  
  
"Oh! I so sorry, Zidane! I no mean to do it!" Quina said.  
  
"Do what?! Can someone explain just *what* is goin' on here?!" Zidane belowed.  
  
"Do you want to tell him or shall I?" Vivi asked Steiner.  
  
"Tell me what?! Dammit, c'mon!" Zidane said.  
  
"Um, Quina kinda, uh... swallowed Regent Cid." Vivi said.  
  
There was a short moment of silence.  
  
"SAY WHAT?!" Zidane said eventually. "How the hell?!"  
  
"I was so hungry! I forgot Regent were froggy! I is in big trouble!" Quina said.  
  
"I don't believe this!" Zidane said. "Without Regent Cid we can't continue our journey! Thanks a lot, Quina!"  
  
Just then, Quina's stomach began to growl, and a disfigured shape could be seen moving around inside him/her.  
  
"Zidane! Look!" Vivi said. "Something is moving around inside Quina!"  
  
"My God!" Steiner said. "Could it be that our Regent Cid is still alive? Moving around inside this beast?!"  
  
Zidane moved forwards to examine Quina. He pressed his ear to his/her chest, and heard a muffled noise from inside.  
  
"Mmph mph mph!"  
  
"Wee! That tickle!" Quina laughed.  
  
"Gee, I think Steiner is right. That's the Regent's voice, all right!" Zidane told the party. "Hmm, we have to get him out of there!"  
  
"Get him out?" Steiner said. "How are we going to do that?"  
  
"I have an idea," Freya said. "We could tip Quina upside down and then the Regent could simply crawl out."  
  
"That's an insane idea, even for you, Freya," Zidane said. "Anyone else got a plan?"  
  
The whole party stared at one another in despair. It seemed no one had a plan worthy enough of getting the poor Regent out.  
  
"Hey, I know!" Eiko said. "Why don't we feed Quina some food, and then maybe s/he'll puke up the Regent for us!"  
  
"...that's the worst idea ever!" Zidane said. "But it just might work! Blank, take us to the Qu's Marsh!"  
  
A few minutes later, the party had arrived at Qu's Marsh, near Lindblum. Master Quale was there to greet them upon their arrival.  
  
"You bring Quina back so soon? You suck!" Master Quale said.  
  
"No, we just need to borrow some frogs. Is that okay with you?" Zidane asked politely.  
  
"You do what you want!" Master Quale said, as he walked off. "Just stay out of my house!"  
  
The party began to collect a number of frogs with which to feed Quina. Eventually, they had enough to give him/her tummy troubles.  
  
"You give I froggy now?!" Quina said.  
  
"Sure, go nuts!" Zidane said.  
  
Quina grabbed a handful of frogs and ate them. Before long, s/he started to look a bit pale.  
  
"Ooh! I not feel so hot!" s/he said, as s/he barfed up all over the party.  
  
"Ugh!" they shrieked.  
  
"Anyone find Cid?" Vivi said.  
  
Zidane sat up, covered in Quina's puke. Regent Cid was nowhere to be found. "Aw, hell! We'll just use a stomach pump like usual!"  
  
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THE END__________  
  
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End file.
